Vanity Fair, Korea

As I listed on my post- South Koreans LOVE mirrors. Perhaps love is too mild a word. I mean obsessed. I'd imagine that taking, confiscating or breaking all the mirrors here, would be the equivalent to depriving a black man of his chicken, banning Lil Wayne from swearing or depriving Oom Frikkie from his beer, biltong and Blue Bulls.

For the longest time I thought 'Wow! They really love themselves.' I was shocked and always embarrassed for them. Enough thinking and observing made me kick myself for being so quick to judge and jump to conclusions.

Usually bigger than your palm, these mirrors are in as many bags as pepper spray in the handbag of a South African lady walking alone at night. Except, the mirrors come out at any time of day, and can especially be seen on the subway and in coffee shops (if the other person is boring, just whip out your mirror and entertain yourself).

These are people whose hair and complexion all of Africa are after, whose faces inspire many a man to sing of their beauty, whose bodies people almost kill themselves for, and yet they still see themselves as anything but beautiful. Yikes.

According to asianplasticsurgeryguide.com South Korea has the highest plastic surgery per capita in the world (by FAAAAR, that is). Double eyelid surgery, cheekbone reduction, wide face reduction (they generally wider faces), brow lift surgery, asian calf and ankle reduction (they have such nice legs though!), anime plastic surgery, lip surgery, asian rhinoplasty, chin surgery, forehead surgery (for a rounder shape) are the most popular ones. It's also really cheap to get it done here compared to other countries so people from all over the world to get their make-overs done here.

My newly revised conclusion:

Such deep vanity can only come from a  deeper place of self-consciousness. 

That's it. Because the perfect face, gorgeously straight and glossy hair with every strand perfectly in place, full face of well-applied make up, is not enough to keep someone from staring into his/her hand mirror for 10 solid minutes. Totally getting lost in there. Another 5 or so minutes fixing your bang (fringe), your lipstick and checking for the pimples you've never had.

Some pics taken at my favourite coffee shop downstairs.

My friend, Vuyo, looking deeply into his pink mirror

I had to try and be subtle about taking the pic. Excuse my face.

Quick make-up touch up

On the bus (I apologise for the poor shot)

After his girlfriend, it's his turn.

Ring ring.

This is our wake up call, too.

Normal Gets Ab'd

Normal. Noun. The usual, average or typical state or condition.

             Adjective  (of a person) Free from physical or mental disorders.

Abnormal. Adjective. Deviating from what is normal, or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable.

Source: Google Dictionary

Good definition, I say. What I think is missing though, is the fact that 'normal' is a really relative term, and that's the most important part of the definition. Coming here of course meant that I'd have to stretch the yardstick I used to measure what's normal and what's not. I had nooo idea I'd be stretching it this far though.

In SoKo (My city, at least), the following fit the requirements for normal:

• Openly calling people ugly, or fat pig actually. To be polite, they'd say 'not pretty' or 'not handsome'. Or generally pointing out to people what they look like.
• Wearing shorts, skirts or dresses that are offensively short (I've seen countless butt cheeks in broad daylight).
• but you WILL get nasty looks for wearing a top with thin straps.  
• Men wearing foundation (or whitening cream), lipstick and whatever other make up they can find. 
• Taking a nice, long drag of all the bile your body has produced, and proudly spitting it out like a pro soccer player IN PUBLIC. Women not excluded. 
• Carrying a large pocket mirror wherever you go,
• And unashamedly staring at yourself while in the company of others. 
• Whining.
• Leaving your car on, idling, windows open, unattended (juuuuust try that in South Africa...)
• Sharing the pedestrian sidewalk with motor cyclists, cars, and mini trucks.
• Owning everything and anything Hello Kitty at the age of 30. 
• Staring and pointing (even at other Koreans).
• Asking people what their blood type is (I mean, c'mon!).
• Chewing loudly, with your mouth open (Table manners the way we know them are non existent actually. 5 months in and I still CANNOT get used to it. Thanks, Girls' High!)
• Sitting at a restaurant for hours with your significant other and not saying a single thing to one another. 
• Straight men and boys being awkwardly affectionate with one another.
• Standing or sitting too close to someone (Asia= No such thing as a personal bubble. Sharing is caring, mate!)
• Using public transport as your bed. Shame, they work hard- it might be the only nap time they get.

Also, it's also normal for me to walk around with a standard shocked face (hope my list makes you empathize). I'd imagine this to be an accurate portrait.

Thanks, thatshowsucks.com for the pic