Normal Gets Ab'd

Normal. Noun. The usual, average or typical state or condition.

             Adjective  (of a person) Free from physical or mental disorders.

Abnormal. Adjective. Deviating from what is normal, or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable.

Source: Google Dictionary

Good definition, I say. What I think is missing though, is the fact that 'normal' is a really relative term, and that's the most important part of the definition. Coming here of course meant that I'd have to stretch the yardstick I used to measure what's normal and what's not. I had nooo idea I'd be stretching it this far though.

In SoKo (My city, at least), the following fit the requirements for normal:

• Openly calling people ugly, or fat pig actually. To be polite, they'd say 'not pretty' or 'not handsome'. Or generally pointing out to people what they look like.
• Wearing shorts, skirts or dresses that are offensively short (I've seen countless butt cheeks in broad daylight).
• but you WILL get nasty looks for wearing a top with thin straps.  
• Men wearing foundation (or whitening cream), lipstick and whatever other make up they can find. 
• Taking a nice, long drag of all the bile your body has produced, and proudly spitting it out like a pro soccer player IN PUBLIC. Women not excluded. 
• Carrying a large pocket mirror wherever you go,
• And unashamedly staring at yourself while in the company of others. 
• Whining.
• Leaving your car on, idling, windows open, unattended (juuuuust try that in South Africa...)
• Sharing the pedestrian sidewalk with motor cyclists, cars, and mini trucks.
• Owning everything and anything Hello Kitty at the age of 30. 
• Staring and pointing (even at other Koreans).
• Asking people what their blood type is (I mean, c'mon!).
• Chewing loudly, with your mouth open (Table manners the way we know them are non existent actually. 5 months in and I still CANNOT get used to it. Thanks, Girls' High!)
• Sitting at a restaurant for hours with your significant other and not saying a single thing to one another. 
• Straight men and boys being awkwardly affectionate with one another.
• Standing or sitting too close to someone (Asia= No such thing as a personal bubble. Sharing is caring, mate!)
• Using public transport as your bed. Shame, they work hard- it might be the only nap time they get.

Also, it's also normal for me to walk around with a standard shocked face (hope my list makes you empathize). I'd imagine this to be an accurate portrait.

Thanks, thatshowsucks.com for the pic

Local is Lekker

It's Friday

The alarm on my Samsung phone goes off at 07:30 so I can get ready for work. I snooze. Finally wake up, switch on my LG aircon (elnino knows how much I need it given this weather!), open the LG sliding doors leading to my laundry area which houses my Daewoo washing machine and other stuff. I need some music. Switch on my LG Xnote and turn it up. <aaaah>

My  phone vs the TAB

Lotte Young Plaza downtown. Department store bliss

I sing along while I wash my face with The Face Shop (LG owned) free samples. I'm late. Jasmine's waiting for me at the corner on her Kia Soul. 'Sorry I'm late!' I say, 'That's okay' she replies and as I look up the silly bus driver feels the need to squeeze his Daewoo bus right in front of us. Now we're right behind this dude who feels the need to drive slowly while showing off his spanking new Renault-Samsung S7 as he drives out of the dealership around the corner from my workplace. 

LG owned cosmetics store in my hood (Jasmine, my model)

Parking. There. Right between the Hyundai Equus and the new Kia Sorento. The cars make us look tiny! Mr Choe shows us his new Bean Pole (Samsung) golfer and his nice Samsung Galaxy Tab. Show off! 

Hyundai's Genesis Luxury Cars. Surprise, huh?!

Samsung's Premium Clothing range

Bean Pole for men (Who woulda thought Samsung could pull this off?!)

Ze French and ze Koreans unite

To make ze Samsung Renault baby

I sit at my desk and quietly moan about the 30 story Samsung, Hyundai and LG apartment blocks that are completely blocking the view of a potentially pleasant daydream. Also, why did LG telecom mess up my cellphone bill?? aaargh. A cheer up from eating my Lotte chocolate should fix it.

Collage of typical Korean apartment blocks

Student's gift to me. Lotte Crunky Chocolate slab

At least I can look forward to the Samsung Lions vs Lotte Giants game tonight. Fell in love with this baseball thing after we (Samsung Lions) beat the Kia Tigers last week. 

Samsung Lion-uh!

"I wanna thank my mom, Kia.."

LG oh-so-serious

Lotte Giants

Nope, I wasn't paid to give these companies a shout out on my blog- this is reality. I'm living like a Korean now, which means I have to swear by Local being Lekker (non SA friends, that's Afrikaans for nice, delicious or fun). 

It still fascinates me how loyal the Koreans are to their local companies' products. Companies you may or may not know are South Korean:

Samsung

LG

Hyundai

Kia

Daewoo
Lotte

Of the pack, the ones with their fingers in every pie are mainly the first two, with the third and fourth also featuring here there and everywhere.

Oligopoly (noun)

A state of limited competition, in which a market is shared by a small number of producers or sellers 

This is juuuust how Korea rolls. The bosses of LG and Samsung must just luuurv the power they have over here.

In fact, you'd swear LG and Samsung were campaigning for presidency, and succeeding by winning the hearts and top votes in the following provinces: 

Cellphones

Electronics

Retail

Baseball

Real estate

Entertainment

Finance
Cosmetics
Shipping 

and just more things I can't type without my jaw dropping in amazement. These bad boys are on a roll!

It amazes me how different the South African consumers are though. We would never trust the blokes making our microwaves to make our cars; the guys making our fridges to manage a winning baseball team or suit us up enough to impress the ladies. The Koreans are something else though, just make them a cellphone and they'll trust you to build their dream house! Stru! 

So there you have it: everything you need, from clothes to cars, brought to you by the 'vice presidents' of Korea: Samsung, LG, Hyundai, Kia and Lotte. I'm sure their campaign slogan would be "Import? For WHO?!" Can you say, self-sufficient South Korea?!